I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
