I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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