My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
