come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
