Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
