no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Sacagawea was the original milf.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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