Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Randomize
