HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
