WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
