I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
