Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
