so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
