so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I just gift wrapped bread.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
