Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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