I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
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