Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
