yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
