So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
