Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
