I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
