did you get engaged???
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
