I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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