In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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