5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
