I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Do you remember whose house we're in?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
