it hurts more in the daytime
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
