Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
