her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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