Buhtt sex?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'm sobbing to NWA
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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