Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
