How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Can I color on your dick again?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
