In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
