I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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