I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
