Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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