I'm so fucking centered right now
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
