Already got asked if we're dating
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
