Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
