what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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