No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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