my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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