Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
