Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
