I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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