Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
