I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
