You smell like stripper and shame
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
