hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
is that a dick in a sweater?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
