The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
