I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
