idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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